I waited 4 weeks to talk to my psychologist. Yes, it was a bit hard for me, but I am happy to have her.
I didn’t think that in Belgium it would be hard for me at times without a psychologist too, but that’s life.
On Monday, 02.10.2023 , I managed to talk to my psychologist and just a friend, to whom I can tell absolutely everything that I have accumulated. I never heard from her that I need to spend even more time together with people I’m happy with. Omg, more. I’m already surrounded by so much care…I NEED to get out in public, not shut myself down and hoard all the resentments like I thought was right. The best part is that I am encouraged to run around with others as much as possible because I don’t like doing it myself anymore. Even I couldn’t realize that myself.
Last week, I guess I could call it a turning point week. When I was digging into myself after the conversation with the psychologist, when I was no longer happy with training, when I forced myself to do everything and keep the pace of life, to feel and feel this freedom and superiority over myself!
It succeeded. Without a psychologist, I realized that all the time it will not be like this, because sooner or later I will break down: nervous breakdown -> anger at others -> disruption of the training process -> regression!
After such an incredibly awesome accomplishment, the only thing missing was one day of proper rest from the routine. The walk around the lake in Wallonia turned out to be incredibly beautiful. This day and these emotions I had been missing for a long time, which is probably why I needed a call to a psychologist, which I had been waiting for 4 weeks!
